Decline

~Decline~

Here is where I show my decent, my decline into a deep psychotic state of mind. Allowing each and every thought to cross where I have been and allowing my transcend state to cross into many several stages of the uncertainty, the unknown, the fruitful playful need that each mind will allow itself to go. Here is decline into a deep enriched place, hidden from within, taught with hidden traces of anger, shallow memories of places taken in, endangering episodes of rarity that transcend into complexity.

Depth of ones soul is scattered with great fear, of uncertainty how it will all end. Ending of what is still unknown but just the unsure, faces not familiar, sounds that have not been experienced, motions with no result, fractions of reality lost in a world structured in my head.

Complexity of building blocks, neurons franticly searching for an understanding of what is to be the future, building confusion, building anxiety, building a web of disinformation that is never to be used. Building the mind into a darken complex state where only I can began to unravel.

I sit and listen to simple sounds of today, wondering if those sounds will lead me to peace of mind or if they will continue to haunt me, desperately trying to place them into a memory file. An understanding within myself if they will bring me some satisfaction to my soul by the simple relation of memory or just a fragment of reality.

Feeling as the world is motionless, feeling as if I’m in a warped state of surpassed reality, much like the Langoliers that roam the earth after life has moved on and passed. Taking the end and wishing it away, I see myself here, lost in this place of torment and rebirth in one swift movement.

Paradox is how I see life; tribulation is fitting for the deceased. Finding where one standing in between is the question most of us urn for. Finishing ones path in life, knowing that is asked and what is certain, what can be expected is all but fitting but yet almost never completed.

Your path is your thoughts, your dreams, your anxiety, your joy, your anger, your hate, your like, your dislikes, your love, your control, your favorite smells, your favorite foods, your favorite everything, including most importantly your ego state of mind is what leads you to decide how each path you take, your comprehension towards that path and the temptation that guides you in and out of your life’s needs.

Tightly stitched thoughts running sporadically, enlightening me; franticly teasing my every whim. Controlling the non motionless state of my decline, loosing the touch of what might be surreal.

Here is where I show my decent, my decline into a deep psychotic state of mind. Flowing cells, rapidly flustering thoughts that decent into the darkness. There to be locked in a vault, trapped until I find use for them again. Find a use for them to accept or reject how I view the world in my psychotic state of mind.


PkS © 2004