Purgatory

Purgatory

I’m damned …. Damned to no end …. Damned to hell ….Damned to Purgatory
Damned to Earth …. Damned to no end….

Does this rock we call home, is it so bad? Is there a meaning deep in the core rocks that tells us our fate? Why do we search for our entire lives for a place that may or may not exist. But we as people are so easy to place blame. For if you don’t believe then off to hell and be shamed.

If we are so quick to sentence a person…“OFF WITH THEIR HEADS” …then why does the question remain of purgatory in my head? Would you damn your mother to a waiting room decorated by hell? Would you damn your father to a place of the dead? Would you sentence your grandparents to a place where all time can do is wait?

Are you truly damned if thinking outside of the box? Are you so caught up in your own life that you are going to be saved just because you’ve read a book? Do you think calling or singing out your holy names, that Christ Your Savior is continuing taking all your pain away? Do you think that life has only one meaning? Do you think that praying to a leather bound book is the only answer?

I’m damned either way I look at it. To hell, to purgatory or to just lay dead. Would it not make sense to think man created god? Would it not make sense to wonder if there was a god who created him?

To hell you first say for my comments that lay on this simple page of paper. You condemned me now for speaking out loud and documenting my behavior. Damned to hell, off I go, and no forgiveness is allowed. I sit on the stones of the murders and thief’s and take no water or rest for my weary bones.

What if I was shackled to purgatory? Rushed off in a hurry so faith doesn’t know I’ve questioned anything. To sit and wait, for a reply of my fate, to ponder and pray for forgiveness. Time has no meaning, just wait and wait, for redemption or damned to hell. While decisions are made, I still have to sit and wait and make out a list of examples of what a terrible person I’ve been for damning thy name.

Damned to Earth for the rest of its life. Roaming around to find the answers I question inside. Search the word in a sphere, round and round I may go, not knowing if any one question I ask may turn into a laughing show. Walk the ends of the earth to find that one true answer that we all are in search of. Damned to a question with no answer to be found. Buried or burned, mummified or scattered, the truth does no lye on this soil that we call earth.

For these three things I question all the time, for hell is nothing more than a purgatory in which lies on earth soil. Wrapped in a tainted view of one’s on perception. Faith is nothing more than a concept to protect our own salvation. We damned ourselves to this eternal flame of questioning who are creator is or was or could be one day. Take life for what it is, nothing more than a purgatory shackled in mixture of earth and hell.

PkS ~ 2003

Let Me

Let me…

Let me take you by your hand
Lead you gently towards my direction
Let me whispering softly spoken words
That reminds you of my affection

Let me grace the back of you neck
With a whisp of two finger tips
And show you a gentler side of my emotions

Let’s run away from it all
Forgetting where we are
Let’s run from this place
Just run and embrace

Let me take you by your hand
Lead you gently towards my direction
Let me caress your body slowly
Each ticklish curve and every bend

Let me grace your entire back
With a whisp of my finger tips
Let me show you my erotic side of affections

Let’s run away from it all
Forgetting where we are
Let’s run from this place
Just run and embrace

Let me tease and torture you in fetish delights
Let me shower you in a soft moon light
Let me infringe on your privacy
Let me spoil your last whim

Let’s run away from it all
Forgetting where we are
Let’s run from this place
Just run and embrace

PkS ~ 2003 ©

Oh Father

Oh Father

So many questions, never enough time
So many unanswered thoughts run threw my mind
Fainted traces of a pleasant childhood
Tortured memories of a non so pleasant parenthood

Were you intentions so much greater than mine
Were your beliefs so gracious and tantalize
Did you ever wonder about your actions that would remain
Did you ever just call out my name

When did you realize that fatherhood was not a blessing in disguise
When did choose to destroy you families entire lives
Who did you think you were in taunting the people you love
Who gave you the right to demolish your only chance at pure love

You birthed and fostered a hatred deep inside
You took away the passion of a little girls cries
You destroyed and ravaged the sanity of one little girl
You broke the bonds of parenthood by flipping off the world

Even though you are gone from here, you still taught me in my dreams
Memories of a burned out man who was nothing but a shame
Even though you have left this world, you left your mark on this little girl
I hold the anger and shame of you within my deepest thoughts that rage and swirl

When I get the chance, I will visit your grave
When I get the courage to be brave
When I get this chance, I will show you what I’ve become
A woman who has grown past your evil and has sir come

Beauty out of evil has branched out of me
Resurrected passions, letting the past overcome me
A chance to finally be free is my only saving grace
Of letting you stay buried, rotting and feasting off your own taste


PkS ~ 2003 ©

Each Day

Each day I sit and wait and watch… I see the hands on the clock… They move east as I move west, I catch myself wondering when they’ll miss…Fruitful thinking of a mind gone mad…. One white jacket ordered…..For me at Last!

PkS 2003 ©

Forbidden God

Forbidden God

Creature of the night lay holdth of my mind
Wondering endlessly threw the patch of darkness

You ask me to surrender my faith and walk with you in the shadows
You ask me to surrender my believes and tend for only your breathless notions

Follow my lead and take my last breath for it is sacred with purity
Swallow my last breath and taste my last wish upon this countless cycle of epiphany

Deemed me to walk with my brothers and sisters who shall take no name
Who talk no name and pray to no name for this is our savor, our damnation, our choice

Take my dreams away as punishment
Take my soul away for it will resurrect
Take my body bleeding for I fight for who I shall name as my God
Take me to temptation and tease me for I choice my God

Continue to walk endlessly threw the patch of darkness
For I shall stand here alone and let you die with no vain of my soul

You are nothing more than a coward who feeds off of ones frenzies
You search the earth for weakness, for this is your true calling
You haunt the will and taunt the name of anyone who walks along your path
You tease for acceptance, knowing one will sub come eventually

For I stand before you and calm now that you are not my God
For I am strong and can see your weakness
For I stand before you and show you how powerless you are
For if you were my God, would you have to thieve and steal purity from within
For if you were my God, would you stand before me and call for my forgiveness

For if you were a God, you would stand before me praying on behave of themselves
For if you were a God, you would stand before us all with sorrow and disbarment
You would not hind behind the lining of a book nor allow a feed of frenzied
You would not hind in words of dislike and torture, death to be taken so easily

Creature of the night lay holdth of my mind
Wondering endlessly threw the patch of darkness
I wake to find you have shown yourself face to face to me
I find you have stolen nothing but an identity
I seize you back to where you come
I damned you back to your feral land

PkS © 2003

Subsequently Life

Subsequently Life

Always later it seemed to be
Time just walked away from me
Staring at the bedroom wall
I see my reflection begin to fall

Here is where I needed to be
There is where I lead my belief
Where is now the time has escaped me
Time is just a release of being free

Wide eyed and open to the world
This subsequently life is of a bore
Legacies pasted down from generations to generations
Forgotten secrets of ones own past and damnation

Walk with me for a while as I tell me tale
Of a life of persecution I know so well
Tempt me to tell my story of a child lost at sea
Tortured my inter being and let her go free

Always later it seemed to be
Time just walked away from me
Staring threw my eyes with shame
This subsequently life goes up in flames


PkS~ 2003 ©

Treasured Illusion

Treasured Illusion

Shattered memories of a forgotten pain
Lost in limbo trapped in an eternal flame
Darken dreams of endless flights
Perched legacies that seem so bright

Drifting off slowly into a deeper sleep
Trying to navigate where I want to be
Chasing the shadows that frighten me so
Finding my redemption to gain control

Running with the towering falls
Faithless fairies juggling whimsical balls
White clouds of angel dusted sands
Swept off to my never never land

Singing with the elegance of light
Hearing the humming birds wings take flight
Daisy grown pastures of motionless breeze
Smelling the apricots before the winters freeze

Watching the stars shooting across the orange lit sky
Catching weeping tears that fall softly to the ground as I lye
Seeing a glimpse of ancient cities that lay beneath
Running my hands across their ruins shacking in disbelief

Here is where I relinquish myself
Lost in a treasured illusion beyond all else
Dreaming of this peaceful majestic place
Countless times for me to run away


PkS ~ 2003

Shake me with Guilty Hands

Shake me with guilty hands
Chill from yester year with ponder look
Fast the sleepless night aproaches
Yet you are still with demons in thought.

Follow the sled to forgotten times,
This maybe your only demise.

~ PKS

Nothing

Nothing


Nothing will be like it was
Nothing could be like it is
Nothing can change the distance between us
Nothing can persist

Sorrowed by the anger
Saddened by the pain
Sympathy for unspoken words
Sickened by it all with the little bull shit games

Remembrance for the suffering
Remembrance for the gain
Shallow minded both we were
Both ignorant of the pain

You are both friend and foe
You wear both masks and scarves
We are both guilty
Hiding our true feelings of who we are

Is it appropriate to love each other?
Is it appropriate to justify the emotions?
Is it appropriate to do anything?
Or is it better to let sleeping dogs’ lye?

Nothing would be a hard thing to forget for nothing would be like it was
Nothing would run away from you for nothing could be like it is
Nothing would be frighten for nothing is between us except a small distance of land
Nothing could scare me away from the persistence of love that I have to give


PkS 2003

Thinking of You

Thinking of you…

I think of you every now or then. Remembering the times we shared and laughed without a care or whim. I remember the softness you so graciously instrumented; like a beautiful orchestra at midnight playing a song we both would remember.

I think of you still from time to time. I remember your solid words of encouragement; the feelings and thoughts that always made me crumb inside. I would lose my fear, lose my intentions of waiting; I would run wildly in thought for a passionate grasp of you’re reality.

I remember how you use to care for me, always asking the right questions; waiting for that once spoken word that brought you enjoyment with a mix of complexity. You seemed fearless of my answers, knowing some deepened understanding. You waited so gently for that last breath to be whispered, like a whisping willow gracing the shadows of a lost world sleeping.

You were my sounding board for life’s little corks. You kept me grounded and surrounded with feelings of love and positive thoughts. You were my best friend, my buddy, the one I could see. You were my soul, my thought, you were my everything.

I think of you every now or then, truthfully it’s more like each moment I’m awake from the deadness I live in. Even when I’m dreaming, I still think of you as it was real, not willing to wake from the dream that has become my surreal.

Sometimes you are in the corner of that dream, mouth shut and quiet. Other times you are with me, hand in hand, face to face, expressing how you truly feel, not holding onto our mistakes. I wake from the dream, not knowing if I’m able to grasp, wondering if it meant something or if it’s going to disappear into the past.

Though I think of you from time to time, I have moved into a clearer state of mind. I see the past as it once stood still, knowing now that your were never real. I think of what could have been, where the fork in the road made its bend. I wonder if I was ready and willing or could it be a path of conciseness that I’m finally quitting.

PkS 2002 ©

Love is a Gamble

Love is a Gamble

Love is a gamble
Kissing is the game
Boys do the screwing
Girls get the blame

One night of pleasure
Nice months of pain
Three days in the hospital
A little boy or girl to name

It all started when a boy
Gets a girl against the wall
Pulls down her reputation
Sticks in his education
Adds to a new population
Of a younger generation

The boys are the BASTARDS
The girls are the WHORES
The stupid little fucker wouldn’t be here
If the little rubber didn’t tore

PkS~1988 ©

Valley of Self Demise

Valley of self demise

A selfless act, a wondering path, a child runs to her mother for protection once more, a woman begs her spouse to end the violence, a man rolls his sleeves to get one more hit in before he realizes what act he as commenced, an employee throws herself into her work to stop countless acts of wrath hands, a gentle hand brushes along the bowed back to caress the pain that has generated, a trapped state of coherences, forgotten places, trouble signs, screams running threw my mind… these are all the views of my self demise.

Waking in a cold sweat, shaking hands and a feverish head, twitching at the smallest beats, washing out the hate before touching a living thing, reviewing the bruises and scars before each daybreak, checking for blood spats against the wall, hand prints in the sand to wash way the memories, applying make-up to hide the marks, paranoia at every turn, closing myself off to resist anymore… these are all the views of my self demise.

Kicking and screaming in anger to stop, hearing the countless sessions of mouthing off, lay on the cement praying it will end, waiting for rescue as the fists belt down again, watching the booze be grossly consumed, covering my eyes for shattered pieces of glass as they fly by, letting the blood drip slowly off my face, counting the drops as they hit the ground in a rhythm pace, watching the evil pounce yet for another blow… these are the views of my self demise.

Watching the time pass each day, wondering when I will be able to walk away, looking at the past, recognizing the anger I hold within for the carelessness I allowed myself to guide in, slowly taking control of my life again, still hiding behind the chill of silences when alone at night, praying for the answer of how to return, deciding which direction to lead myself, following my screams in the dark, dreaming of a peace within my heart, knowing it will come eventually as I continue to wonder down the valley of my self demise.

OMG

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG (thats all I had to say).... Once again for the hearing impaired.... OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG