Monday, October 19, 2009

Learning to letting go...




Learning to let go…

One of the hardest things in life to do is to learn how to let someone go. It’s easier said than done, most of the time, you’re taking advice from friends or family members who have shared similar experiences; but bottom line is that you have to learn the experience on your own. Experience the situation at hand with no one leading you there. You and you alone.

When you share years with a person, through the good times and bad, it’s hard to just call it quits, especially when both parties are not in agreement. When one person decides to walk away for what ever the reason may be, it’s truly a face slap to the recipient. Along with the person who decided to walk away, it’s hard on them as well, questioning motive, questioning themselves, their action or actions, the reasoning behind it and always the famous “what if” syndrome.

People come into our lives for a reason, maybe a season or for a lifetime. When you can identify which of the three it may be, you will have a better understanding on how to deal with the situation.

When someone is in your life for a reason, its’ usually an underlined desire to meet a need that you have expressed, verbally or emotionally. The person may have been brought into our life to assist you through a difficult time, or provide you with guidance and support or even to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They are there for the reason you needed them to be. Then, without any warning, quick as it came on; the relationship comes to an end. It could be a death, or a fight or even just someone walking away, forcing you to take a stand. What must be realized is that our need actually has been met, our desire fulfilled and we must move on from the situation.

Some people come into your life for a season. It’s your turn to share, grow and learn. Experience of peace of mind and laugher is what is brought out of it. You may even learn something new or do something that might once have been a fear. This type of person typically brings an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe in it; believe it for it is real; but only for a season.

A lifetime relationship teaches you a lifetime of lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. You must accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to good use in all other relationships or areas in our lives. It is said that love is blind but friendships are clairvoyant.

What makes a person want to quit on a relationship? It could be something as easy as how the person is, something deep rooted within there personality, maybe someone who can’t be with someone very long, to a variety of other things, such as timing, family, friends, culture, past experiences, possible future experiences, behavior, function skills, attitude, overwhelming thoughts or regrets, custom of life style and living, social differences, trust, bond, sex appeal, sexual habits, frustration, religion, believe systems, economic, deep fears of rejection, lost of feelings, lost of love, safety, threatening personalities, right down to the most common, they have just lost the connection between the person.

It takes a strong person to just walk away from it all. Most people are in very comfortable lifestyles, with people who are from their inner circle or most from similar back grounds. But up and walking away from someone, for what ever the reason maybe, is hard for both parties. When one of the parties in the relationship decides it’s time to quit, it’s no easy task. Several situations include having to “tally up” who is getting what material belongs, such as in a divorce situation. For others, it’s breaking the emotional bond they once shared. Even though one person may be leaving, there still is a bond that was formed, mostly made in comfort. Walking away from your comfort level is one hell of a task, but in doing so; you can learn a great deal of yourself, your situation and the environment your surroundings.

For what ever reason the person chooses, in the beginning it seems unbearable. The rush of feelings will over take you at times, making you question the process, making you question if you are doing the right thing. You will go threw all the emotions, love, anger, fear, sorrow, joy, lust, disgust, acceptance, anticipation, surprise, self-pity, hate, envy, anger, regret, sadness, joy, remembrance, frustration, torture, humiliation and questionable doubt to just name a few. However how long these feelings may last, some longer than others, some feelings lingering for years, there is no right or wrong for feeling any of these.

Does taking everyone who you’ve ever known’s advice come into account or is it just polite to nod your head and agree rather than explaining how your personal situation was different. So rather getting into details, just agree to not disclose and move on with the frustration of it all. This is a question that is separated by sexes it seems, since most women have to ‘talk it to death’ and men typically give a short version and hold feelings inward.

I can personally say that I’ve fallen into all of the categories, feelings, emotions, along being the destroyer or demolisher of the relationship more times than I’d personally like to account for. Rarely in my past, have I given any satisfaction of anyone having the “upper hand” on laying clam on ending things. I think most people can account themselves to be the destroyer. It’s a emotional mechanism that is triggered when we feel vulnerable or helpless in a situation.

It takes all emotions to deal with the simplest things, once the decision has been made. And knowing who you are as a person helps you deal with the situation even farther. Now, it’s about continuing to grown as a person, venturing out of our shell, taking the steps to move forward and learn to let go of the past. The ones we cared for in our past, teach us to love again tomorrow.

The question at hand seems to still be left at, do we let go and experience the emotions at hand or do we bend into temptation and continue with the same issues arising knowing that the relationship should have ended. To some, staying is believing things will work out, even if it should be decades away. To others, taking the leap of faith and going through the emotions of letting go, making a choice to weather the storm, knowing in the long run, there is a life after letting go and moving on with your life.

It’s been said to know love is to know one’s self. Love can be inviting, enchanting, alluring but TO BE IN love can be breathtaking, captivating, spectacular and emotional heart wrenching. You may love a million times over, in your life time; but the one you are truly in love with may only come once. And to know one’s self, know the answer to which the person was to you.

Though your time may have come and passed you by for now, remember again if it’s the reason, was it the season or was it a lifetime.

PkS 2009 ©

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Guess who's...



Someone is moving…
Far far away…
To escape the routine…
Of my monotonous days…

Moving on with a new chapter that’s fresh
And leaving loving memories of a past
Cleanses my soul for a fresh break
Leaving a tortured soul to haunt the rest of YOUR days

Waves good bye to all who I’ve met
I will think of you often
And know some of you I hold dear
And will remember the good times we shared

Welcoming a warm hello
In a new country
New city
New home

And maybe once I get unpacked
And set up my new flat
I might take a stroll
To someplace unknown

Ahhhhh, new beginnings…. Got to love them!!

Waves Bye Bye!!!!

~The ZotmIster August 2009~

And if you didn’t get a personal phone call regarding this matter, that means you were put on the NO CALL LIST https://www.donotcall.gov/. So go sit in a corner and cry your fake tears, then get a beer and a smoke and GO FUCK YOURSELF!! Peace out  ~~


I think I’m afraid of the dark
That’s when the demons lurk
Trying to find a way
Into my forbidden place
You can see them behind the minds door light
Moving and swaying for just one bite
Watching them stir around
They are waiting patiently for a sound
Hisses and moans, whispers and deep tones
I think I’ll stay here tonight
All alone

Sneaks to the door…
Opens the door slowly
Invites all the demons inside
Blows a kiss
Says good night…












Gobble Gobble


PkS 2009 ©

Oraculum




All that has happened now will happen again, the prophecy writes
What once was a beginning concludes to the end but will be again
What once was believed in, lived for, strived fully, will be forgotten, then reborn again
There will be an angel of death, yet an angel of life shall save what is right
And what has occurred will be counted again

The path we may take will be written time and time again
The path of salvation will be written in transcripts for our future generations to withhold
The truth as we know will be sentenced to question
The unknown will be answered
Our thoughts will be resurrected
Our path walked again

One life may change many
It may change all
It may change those who it has not met yet
It may change all who come in contact with it
It may decipher the lingering questions
It may not answer any; it may not change a thing
Life is precious, pure and innocent
It is our only connection with one another
It’s the one bond we have to our future

Believe in your heart you will find your own
You are the only one who can
You are the salvation of yourself
You are your one true question
You are the one true answer

What has happened now will happened again
The prophecy has been written and will be written again and again
The world as you may know is the world you have come to make
You will be both damned and rewarded for your actions
Your path is that of many, but only yours at freewill

The prophecy writes that all will be
All will have a hand in what will be
All will decided the fate of one
All will anger and rejoice at once
All have the knowledge yet some choose not to use it
All know the roots of answers

These words have been written before
These words will be written again long after I am dust
The prophecy is stubborn
It returns to remind us of the path we select
It haunts us all for a change
All that has happened now will happen again
The prophecy writes
What once was a beginning
Concludes to the end
And shall be willed again
What once was believed in, lived for, strived fully for in live
Will be forgotten, the sands forgotten, everything we have touched
All that have passed and all that will be, shall be reborn again
There IS an angel of death
There IS an angel of life
All that is right will be saved in our world
And what has occurred will be counted again, and again and again.

The prophecy is written
Man will be born, will live and then die
He will turn to dust and be released back to our world
Our only salvation will be written in transcripts
Held for our future generations to withhold
Terra ut terra , cinis cineris ut cinis cineris , pulvis ut pulvis


PkS 2009 ©

Monday, July 13, 2009

Narcissistic Male



Narcissistic Male

You want the universe given to you in the palm of your hand. Narcissistic male with no intentions of understanding his goal or distinction in the master plan. You want so much resolvement to be determined by me, yet I have no answers to what you seek.

You find pleasure in running around; circling the universe looking for any person’s ego to burse; yet you always found comfort in afflicting your pain in my fragile world; you’re nothing more than a narcissistic male with the ability to destroy everyone’s dreams and hope for your own pleasure, of course.

Fabricated truth is what your life is called; always running away from your dreams in search of gaining some sort of power of acceptance or trying to rewriting other people’s beliefs. But you don’t even understand the truth you try to preach. You get caught up in the words you speak. And forget how one word can destroy a life, a feeling or even a passion that others may believe. But being a person who can not stop insisting, you of course can not determine when you’ve hurt another. For this is why your narcissistic ways, will always be a signal for others to stay away.

You’re determined to draw them into your universe, emulating your powerless words. You want them to put you on a pedestal, and pray to you as you look down upon them. You want to play ALL MIGHTY GOD, in the world you’ve created. Narcissistic games you’ve dreamt up and can’t stop playing.

You’ve never had a single person call you out for who you really are; every time someone gets close to your tarnished heart; you run back to the center of your pathetic non circulating universe. You urn for acceptance in this world who has branded you and you’re careless acts towards others. For this, you will remain, in stand off with humanity.

A sorry, small pathetic male with no comprehension of the world you live in. Open your eyes and stop stroking your ego and you might just get a small glimpse of what the outside world see of you. But knowing how you live for the game, the excitement and joy you really love to bring, to invade your world, slowly draw them in without knowing anything else except how to keep your ego lite; and when or where to polish and gloat, stroking, and lurking, and moving about.

What’s that? You ask so dear? Yes, indeed, it’s the world you can not invade, it’s the one’s who see your game; all the people who know how you truly are; sitting and laughing at your want-a-be world.


Karma’s a bitch!

PKS 2008 ©

Said



Said

I’ve said what I needed to say
To release what is in side of me
To rekindle what was meant to be
Thus I can finally be free

But all now is out of my hands
Only time will have what the final word may be
Of what lye’s in the future
Or will be blown away with sand

What is meant to be will be
The universe is known to works in threes
If there is nothing else to say
At least I’ve said my peace today
And know that when I die
That I never held back my feelings inside

PKS ©