Crimson

Crimson ~

Shallow breaths as I fall to the ground…
Lingering hands on my chest…
Feels the crimson pouring out of my body…
Light headed as I fall hard…

Blinded by the tears…
Moronic screams drowning out the sounds…
Coughs for purified air…
No breath able to hold in…

Franticly trying to understand what happened moments before
Here in a lost state of mind, wondering how I ended up on the floor
Bleeding dark crimson blood, shattered, broken in disbelief
Am I broken? Or am I the light passed on from a distant time

Raises my arm to shield my soon embrace …
Not able to feel the motion…
Drops of crimson fall gently on my face…
Covers my eyes with soaking palms…

Flashing bulbs of brilliant white light bouncing around under my lids...
I know I am not sleeping but I’m not awake…
Tries for another breath, unsuccessful of this task…
Hears a voice close to me, whispering…

I’m too lost to be saved; I’d rather just allow myself to die
My mind talks to me as if it’s my friend
Telling me all the secrets I found bound
It speaks to me as if I’m already gone

Why did this happen… happen to me
What happened moments before, before I fell to the floor
Frantic, frantic to understand, trying to remember where I belong
Am I sleeping, dreaming, of something that I fear

Tries to kill the pain from my mind…
Only receives more in return…
I am dying with crimson pouring out of me…
So much regret and betrayal, so much fear…

Will I be remembered once I leave?
Lost for so long, would it really matter now with how things turned out?
Will you be on the other side once I find my light?
Or will you forget me like all the rest?

Thoughts of what just happened keep trying to seep in
Franticly putting together a puzzle of snapshots of what was my life
Was it me who wanted to die or a reality that came to flight
Was it my torment that will not allow me to pass over to the other side
Salvation is now what I seek, my soul cries for deliverance to my rest and peace

Trying to hold on…
Still bleeding, frantic with enslavement bound to the floor…
Screams fill my mind as thoughts pass by…
My mind talking to me so I will not be alone…
Lost here in a crimson tide as the world stops to say good bye…

I take my last breath…
Knowing I will now be at rest…
I exhale in relief, passes the breath to it’s next place…
Closes my lids to a brilliant light…
Darkness takes over me…

Franticly trying to understand why I choice to lie down and die?
Was it me; was it my mind, was it my time?
Could I be trapped in a dream that I can not awake from?
Was it he, who finally damaged me so?
Or was I who took my own life? Was it my suicide?


PkS © 2005