Hidden

Hidden ~

Hidden in the dark corners of my mind
Shadows lurk around trying to fine
That single place to land and develop
A feast frenzy of darkness not attracted to light

Take me to shallow ground
Place me in a the earth as I lay bound
Let the dirt be thrown over my casket of pine
Let the maggots feast and dine

Let me spoil and rot
Skin falls off
Hair elapse
Nothing more left than a pine box

Hidden in the dark corners of my mind
Shadows lurk around trying to fine
A single entrance to sanity
Jolted to life from a depth of tragedy

Tainted memories of a woman once know
Broken legacy of a time withdrawn
Lynched and burned for inter peace
Destruction surrounded tranquility

Spoiled remains
Piercing reframe
Pathetic freedom
Nothing more to remain


~ PkS 2003©

Bird

Woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently lowered the window
And crushed his fucking head....

I'm not a morning person, get the picture

Today Beyond

Today beyond others you share one gift that others do not understand. You can take the breath that was given to you at birth, you can breath in and yet you have the choose to destroy yourself with one small action you do not treasure

~PkS
2002©

Matter of Time

Matter of time:

It’s been the longest time since you were around
You’re always still on my mind
You have not escaped me, no, not in deed
You are still the kind loving person that I will always need

You knew me from my shell
You watched me grow
You watched me share all my feelings and thoughts
Even my wonders and ponders of the universe
You sat back and listened
You listened so well
You were always there, maybe not in body, but defiantly in soul

I have not forgotten your sweet, lavish touch
I always remembered how kind it was
Your silky palm touching my golden blonde hair
Your fingers so soft, always gently brushing the rim of my face
With all the care in the world, you did it with such grace

You always knew the perfect thing to say
You never liked that old stupid word game
You said it with meaning
You let everyone know
You never lead me down the slippery non-understanding road
The simplest words, the fact that you meant them, was the most I loved
The freedom of your discussion is what I admired most
And the fact that you always thought of me first

I miss you as you can see
What happened to our strange wonderful thing
Where did the time pass
I wonder if you still see me as you walk down the street
I wonder if you can still smell the sweetness of my breath
I wonder if you still think of me as each day has flown
I ponder if you still want to feel me, caress me, or even so lightly just kiss me

I can only say that this is what I want
It’s just a wish, a dream, a little selfish fetish
But the only thing I know for certain
Is if it’s possible, even so slightly
It’s just a matter…
… A matter of time

~PkS
2002 ©

Flinch

~Flinch~

What, it’s been over a decade since we meet.... It still feels like it was yesterday..... we only knew what was going on between each other.... we only bruised each other but the pain still is floating around in each of us.... you made me run and hide.... you made me retreat to a hidden place in my head.... you bite, you slapped, you fought with your fists, you kicked, you always made sure that the marks were not seen except by you.... proud of your art work, you took so much pride in it..... Bragging to your buddies on what a great man you were.... how long can a girl be tortured by you..... How long can a girl be haunted by you..... How long does it take before all the pain goes away.....you thought by just dropping in every once in a while that all would be forgiven..... You thought that going away as I asked would only make me want you again.... but you were sadly mistaken..... you didn't see it coming...... you didn't see that I learned to shut myself off to you.....even when you still held me down, you could not get close enough to make a difference.....you thought that if you stopped my heart may return, but you were sadly mistaken once again.... you threaten and stalked, you even decided to make good on a promise..... but after all that you did, broke as I am, you still can not get what you want out of me.....the acceptance that you desire, the love that you require, the trust and emotions that you think you need..... you took what should have been memories and turned them all into hate, devastation, boredom, and confusion......I always wanted for you want you wanted for yourself.... but we both knew from the start that neither one of us should be in the place we ended up..... Now the final chapter is closed, but yet the pain still lingers around..... Afraid of stepping out, without looking behind me, not trusting anyone because of what actions my lay ahead..... yes, thank you for breaking me down, for all your wonderful work you have done.... you have left me broken, but you still lost the battle, you still lost the war, you never gained what you always wanted, you never could get into my heart.... and yes thank you for your marks you left, I added a few of my own, but they are there just for me to remember what path not to follow again.....And even though we I sat for months and vacillated, I just took it all in, let you continue and still you are the one you has lost everything.....

~PkS

2002 ©

Each Path

Each path I lay before myself, the decision is mine and mine alone. Determination and Will walk along with me as I make those decisions. If I should dismiss one or the other, then I have lost my way. But neither has dismissed me nor has forgotten to remind me that each decision I may make will later be a reflection, such as a mirror, into my soul.

~PkS

2002©

Your Life is Closed Off

Your life is closed off, your touch is unreal, you feel nothing, you accept the impossible as truth, you care for nothing living, and you feed off of destruction and pain. You are my nightmare. Wake before the whispers of ones lost soul take the advantage of seeing you not in your true form, but as a master of savors…

~PkS

2002 ©

Touch Me

Touch me as you once did. Take me now and show me pleasure mixed with the anger that you so gratified me with. Move the direction of your this rugged touch closer to me for a better look at the face of destruction in my mind. This will be your last touch, the last breath, and your last hour before I divide your simplest views and shut you out of my life…

~PkS

2002 ©

Follow me to the Underworld

Follow me to the underworld; for I see what deep forgotten hearts you have tramped on. You will be taken not for your bold persistence, but for your knowledge of spearing hearts of young lives within ones soul…

~PkS

2002 ©

Secret

Secret

I want to tell you a secret about me
One that may throw you into disbelief
It’s something that’s been on my mind
I just feel this is the precise time

I don’t want you to worry about me
I just feel that you need to see
That what I have to say is from my heart
So please don’t tier it all apart

You have always been there for me
Guiding me with your warmth, your love and energy
You have taken me out of my harms way
Praying for each caring moment that keep me awake

For my secret is nothing to worry about
Its just time I let it out
I want you to know and please never forget
That you are my love, my faith and the keeper of my heart

PkS ~ 2003 ©

Steel

Steel

Steel blade pressed against my skin
Shackled grin sickened by distress from within
Beginning to end, life takes what it must
It continues its pathetic little game to the end with every push

Push of steel against the cold softness of skin
Feeling your worries fall into a higher plane of conciseness
Moving with the motions of what life throws at you
Finding relief in your steel bladed friend you’ve adopted so soon

You can almost find yourself in ecstasy
Knowing that you will soon find relief to the endless pain
Reading the marks of redness slip into a surreal state of drowning
Your heart pounding in excitement with a sigh of pleasures bleeding

Living in a dream of uncertainty
Not knowing what is real or what is just fantasy
Late into the night you lock your doors knowing you are all alone
Just to live in a dream, waking an inevitable motion

Shredded tears as you met your defeat
Finding a sexual sense of excitement as your skin flies open in relief
Catch the drenching flow of sorrow finally leave your side
Watching the steel blade take it’s finally run to a lesser pain inside


PkS ~ 2003©

This was written to release pressure of anger towards what I fight each day right now. Nothing more than words that are written down on a peice of paper. For one person may thing this made be a state of mind, to another it might remind them of the pain we are afraid to open ourselves up with others.

Don't Know Why

Don't Know Why

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don’t know why I didn’t come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you’ll be on my mind
Forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I’ll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone

My heart is drenched in wine
But you’ll be on my mind
Forever

Something had to make you run
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come

~ Norah Jones 2002

Treasured Illusion

Treasured Illusion

Shattered memories of a forgotten pain
Lost in limbo trapped in an eternal flame
Darken dreams of endless flights
Perched legacies that seem so bright

Drifting off slowly into a deeper sleep
Trying to navigate where I want to be
Chasing the shadows that frighten me so
Finding my redemption to gain control

Running with the towering falls
Faithless fairies juggling whimsical balls
White clouds of angel dusted sands
Swept off to my never never land

Singing with the elegance of light
Hearing the humming birds wings take flight
Daisy grown pastures of motionless breeze
Smelling the apricots before the winters freeze

Watching the stars shooting across the orange lit sky
Catching weeping tears that fall softly to the ground as I lye
Seeing a glimpse of ancient cities that lay beneath
Running my hands across their ruins shacking in disbelief

Here is where I relinquish myself
Lost in a treasured illusion beyond all else
Dreaming of this peaceful majestic place
Countless times for me to run away


PkS ~ 2003

Finer Things

It seems as though the finer things are far too easy to spawn their wings.
Gold and diamond rings, to some, comprise the finer things.
Gold will shine in weathered time, far less bright when you’re in sight.
A diamond will cease to be, long before the love between you and me.
Far too simple are these tokens if never true words for Two are spoken.
It seems as though the finer things are always the things you bring to me.
EaB~2003

Nothing

Nothing


Nothing will be like it was
Nothing could be like it is
Nothing can change the distance between us
Nothing can persist

Sorrowed by the anger
Saddened by the pain
Sympathy for unspoken words
Sickened by it all with the little bull shit games

Remembrance for the suffering
Remembrance for the gain
Shallow minded both we were
Both ignorant of the pain

You are both friend and foe
You wear both masks and scarves
We are both guilty
Hiding our true feelings of who we are

Is it appropriate to love each other?
Is it appropriate to justify the emotions?
Is it appropriate to do anything?
Or is it better to let sleeping dogs’ lye?

Nothing would be a hard thing to forget for nothing would be like it was
Nothing would run away from you for nothing could be like it is
Nothing would be frighten for nothing is between us except a small distance of land
Nothing could scare me away from the persistence of love that I have to give


PkS 2003

Shake me with Guilty Hands

Shake me with guilty hands
Chill from yester year with ponder look
Fast the sleepless night aproaches
Yet you are still with demons in thought.

Follow the sled to forgotten times,
This maybe your only demise.

~ PKS

Old Friend

Old Friend, what are you looking for?
After those many years abroad you come
With images you tended
Under foreign skies
Far away from your own land.

~ George Seferis

Now she's eyeless.
The snakes she held once
Eat up her hands.

~ George Seferis

The Emperor of Ice Cream

The Emperor of Ice Cream

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in suck dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in the last month’s newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the tree glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered three fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice cream.

~ Wallace Stevens

Thinking of You

Thinking of you…

I think of you every now or then. Remembering the times we shared and laughed without a care or whim. I remember the softness you so graciously instrumented; like a beautiful orchestra at midnight playing a song we both would remember.

I think of you still from time to time. I remember your solid words of encouragement; the feelings and thoughts that always made me crumb inside. I would lose my fear, lose my intentions of waiting; I would run wildly in thought for a passionate grasp of you’re reality.

I remember how you use to care for me, always asking the right questions; waiting for that once spoken word that brought you enjoyment with a mix of complexity. You seemed fearless of my answers, knowing some deepened understanding. You waited so gently for that last breath to be whispered, like a whisping willow gracing the shadows of a lost world sleeping.

You were my sounding board for life’s little corks. You kept me grounded and surrounded with feelings of love and positive thoughts. You were my best friend, my buddy, the one I could see. You were my soul, my thought, you were my everything.

I think of you every now or then, truthfully it’s more like each moment I’m awake from the deadness I live in. Even when I’m dreaming, I still think of you as it was real, not willing to wake from the dream that has become my surreal.

Sometimes you are in the corner of that dream, mouth shut and quiet. Other times you are with me, hand in hand, face to face, expressing how you truly feel, not holding onto our mistakes. I wake from the dream, not knowing if I’m able to grasp, wondering if it meant something or if it’s going to disappear into the past.

Though I think of you from time to time, I have moved into a clearer state of mind. I see the past as it once stood still, knowing now that your were never real. I think of what could have been, where the fork in the road made its bend. I wonder if I was ready and willing or could it be a path of conciseness that I’m finally quitting.

PkS 2002 ©