~Decline~
Here is where I show my decent, my decline into a deep psychotic state of mind. Allowing each and every thought to cross where I have been and allowing my transcend state to cross into many several stages of the uncertainty, the unknown, the fruitful playful need that each mind will allow itself to go. Here is decline into a deep enriched place, hidden from within, taught with hidden traces of anger, shallow memories of places taken in, endangering episodes of rarity that transcend into complexity.
Depth of ones soul is scattered with great fear, of uncertainty how it will all end. Ending of what is still unknown but just the unsure, faces not familiar, sounds that have not been experienced, motions with no result, fractions of reality lost in a world structured in my head.
Complexity of building blocks, neurons franticly searching for an understanding of what is to be the future, building confusion, building anxiety, building a web of disinformation that is never to be used. Building the mind into a darken complex state where only I can began to unravel.
I sit and listen to simple sounds of today, wondering if those sounds will lead me to peace of mind or if they will continue to haunt me, desperately trying to place them into a memory file. An understanding within myself if they will bring me some satisfaction to my soul by the simple relation of memory or just a fragment of reality.
Feeling as the world is motionless, feeling as if I’m in a warped state of surpassed reality, much like the Langoliers that roam the earth after life has moved on and passed. Taking the end and wishing it away, I see myself here, lost in this place of torment and rebirth in one swift movement.
Paradox is how I see life; tribulation is fitting for the deceased. Finding where one standing in between is the question most of us urn for. Finishing ones path in life, knowing that is asked and what is certain, what can be expected is all but fitting but yet almost never completed.
Your path is your thoughts, your dreams, your anxiety, your joy, your anger, your hate, your like, your dislikes, your love, your control, your favorite smells, your favorite foods, your favorite everything, including most importantly your ego state of mind is what leads you to decide how each path you take, your comprehension towards that path and the temptation that guides you in and out of your life’s needs.
Tightly stitched thoughts running sporadically, enlightening me; franticly teasing my every whim. Controlling the non motionless state of my decline, loosing the touch of what might be surreal.
Here is where I show my decent, my decline into a deep psychotic state of mind. Flowing cells, rapidly flustering thoughts that decent into the darkness. There to be locked in a vault, trapped until I find use for them again. Find a use for them to accept or reject how I view the world in my psychotic state of mind.
PkS © 2004
Monday, August 02, 2004
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Once
Once
Once I was happy to say good bye,
Wash my hands to it all and never think twice
I would just shut my eyes and think of all the hateful pains
You caused my heart to feel inside, beaten, tore down, mentally ashamed
The grief, the sorrow, the shame, the pain
The anguish, the torment, a sinking pitiful game
The destructive words that came so easily
The masterful glee you took from inside of me
I would think about the words said in anger
I would think about the childish behavior
I would remind myself everyday of how much you broke my heart
I felt like I was left to suffer, never to allow myself to restart
I would say things about you to keep me upset
Trashing your name so easily without a care or whim
Cussing you even when I was asleep
Kicking myself in hate at the mention of your name
Once I was happy to feel that way
Never worried about letting my heart get swept away
Once was a long time ago for me
It took years for me to relinquish the pain
As time moved forward, and I still stood still
I could faintly hear those words disappear
As time still marched as a parade took flight
I can now say, Once was another life time
You said those words, you held so dear
You said your peace, as you left my world
But once I realized that time will not stay still
I learned to take flight and rejoin the world
For now I’m glad you have move out of my life
I’m finally at a place where I can sleep at night
I no longer take what you said out of spite
I know now that you did what was right
PkS © 2004
Once I was happy to say good bye,
Wash my hands to it all and never think twice
I would just shut my eyes and think of all the hateful pains
You caused my heart to feel inside, beaten, tore down, mentally ashamed
The grief, the sorrow, the shame, the pain
The anguish, the torment, a sinking pitiful game
The destructive words that came so easily
The masterful glee you took from inside of me
I would think about the words said in anger
I would think about the childish behavior
I would remind myself everyday of how much you broke my heart
I felt like I was left to suffer, never to allow myself to restart
I would say things about you to keep me upset
Trashing your name so easily without a care or whim
Cussing you even when I was asleep
Kicking myself in hate at the mention of your name
Once I was happy to feel that way
Never worried about letting my heart get swept away
Once was a long time ago for me
It took years for me to relinquish the pain
As time moved forward, and I still stood still
I could faintly hear those words disappear
As time still marched as a parade took flight
I can now say, Once was another life time
You said those words, you held so dear
You said your peace, as you left my world
But once I realized that time will not stay still
I learned to take flight and rejoin the world
For now I’m glad you have move out of my life
I’m finally at a place where I can sleep at night
I no longer take what you said out of spite
I know now that you did what was right
PkS © 2004
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Freedom at a Price
Freedom at a price
Freedom - The ability to choose for ones-self, in both voice and in action; the ability to make rational decisions to voice an opinion without repercussions, without being afraid of a government, church, local civics club or any member of the stated, taking any action against the expressed person who has made such statement(s) or comment(s). The quality or state of being free, the absence of necessity, coercion or constraint in choice or action, the ability to be frank, open, or outspoken and with the ability of conception or execution. The ability to speak what is on your mind, be it justice, be it cruel, be it impartial or foul, but just the ability to say speak what is on your mind.
So with that said, I have a clear statement I am expressing now. If you appose, then you have every right, but as I explained, it is my choice and ability to make this statement.
How easy it is to just take the life of another, innocent or guilty and reinforce our own society and their thoughts by screaming Freedom. Is it freedom? Is it justice to say Freedom, when life(s) has been taken, to better our own beliefs? Is it not an injustice to us all when we demonstrate the ability to kill another human being in the price of freedom? Is that justice to the families, to the friends or to their own beliefs?
Taking the breath of another and saying it was for our own protection, for our own good, for our own right to serve as our fore fathers did before us to protect our land, to kill a man who is doing the same for his own country, is that justice? Is it justice for us to judge another by their choices in their lives such as religion, speech, their ability to act or take function with others, their decision to stand on their beliefs and them have their own thoughts on who or how they would like to be treated?
Do we always follow our own history and do as are fore fathers did before, and if so, is that not going to lead us into more bloody baths that will be endless, with endless life’s taken, with endless results with endless stories of tragedy and endless thoughts reminding us of how we did come about freedom in the first place? Or have we already forgotten that as we stand here in America, we stand united, under HUNDREDS of gods, not just one, but HUNDREDS; have we forgotten who we truly are, how we came about getting to where we are now and now many blood baths we alone had to over come to be where we are today?
Are own history has proven to us that murder, death and killing others for the sake of Freedom has not placed us in any better state of mind that our enemy that we so readily judge on the same principles. We hold each person the same respect but when the ability to grant freedom, we ask they pay a price for it. The price might come in a certificate, a donation, a statement or even the choice to relinquish their own beliefs, their own thoughts and their own decision of what is placed value of Freedom. For if you give your life, give your family ability to give you that life, then so freely a person should take it away, for a decision made my men who have no understanding of what the civilized world means nor has the will to choice to accept and understand each and every one of our differences.
Who are we to decide how others should live or die? Who are we to say prayers for the death or dying who have so laid their lives in front of ours to protect us from evil that fortified our well being? Is it not this evil that we grew ourselves? Is this not our own demise and ALSO our own redemption that we should soundly take notice of and solely without questioning, but accepting and learning from our differences? I ask not to be protected, yet I ask for all to accept and protect their own beliefs, their own visions, their own practices yet with a better understanding who we truly are not in the face of man but who we truly are in the face of brotherhood.
In the United States of America, we are raised to believe that each and every one of us are of protected by our peers, our allies, our parents, our family, our guardians, our friends and most importantly, our government. As a child, you are taught what freedom is by examples of history, events and patterns dating back to the cavemen. You are taught that freedom may come at a price, but that price never has a value. To give ones freedom up is giving up their life. It is a chain of events that we, as in titled the World, have done to ourselves endlessly for a vary of reasons, primarily over religion or land.
When will we stop the cycle of this endless battle within our own selves and insure to each and every person on this planet that Freedom is not a decision someone in made up for it’s spirit of sounding good, but yet truly take the meaning to heart and make the difference. Not just a difference for one, but a difference collectively for all, for all to feel, for all to choose, for all to see and feel.
The endless life’s taken for the word of Freedom. The endless lies we hear about who is threatening our freedom. The endless cries that are unheard because we yet have not listened to our own past, learned from our fore fathers. We stand proud, but we are proud of nothing, and can not be proud with nothing until we learn what freedom is truly about.
PkS ~ 2004 ©
Freedom - The ability to choose for ones-self, in both voice and in action; the ability to make rational decisions to voice an opinion without repercussions, without being afraid of a government, church, local civics club or any member of the stated, taking any action against the expressed person who has made such statement(s) or comment(s). The quality or state of being free, the absence of necessity, coercion or constraint in choice or action, the ability to be frank, open, or outspoken and with the ability of conception or execution. The ability to speak what is on your mind, be it justice, be it cruel, be it impartial or foul, but just the ability to say speak what is on your mind.
So with that said, I have a clear statement I am expressing now. If you appose, then you have every right, but as I explained, it is my choice and ability to make this statement.
How easy it is to just take the life of another, innocent or guilty and reinforce our own society and their thoughts by screaming Freedom. Is it freedom? Is it justice to say Freedom, when life(s) has been taken, to better our own beliefs? Is it not an injustice to us all when we demonstrate the ability to kill another human being in the price of freedom? Is that justice to the families, to the friends or to their own beliefs?
Taking the breath of another and saying it was for our own protection, for our own good, for our own right to serve as our fore fathers did before us to protect our land, to kill a man who is doing the same for his own country, is that justice? Is it justice for us to judge another by their choices in their lives such as religion, speech, their ability to act or take function with others, their decision to stand on their beliefs and them have their own thoughts on who or how they would like to be treated?
Do we always follow our own history and do as are fore fathers did before, and if so, is that not going to lead us into more bloody baths that will be endless, with endless life’s taken, with endless results with endless stories of tragedy and endless thoughts reminding us of how we did come about freedom in the first place? Or have we already forgotten that as we stand here in America, we stand united, under HUNDREDS of gods, not just one, but HUNDREDS; have we forgotten who we truly are, how we came about getting to where we are now and now many blood baths we alone had to over come to be where we are today?
Are own history has proven to us that murder, death and killing others for the sake of Freedom has not placed us in any better state of mind that our enemy that we so readily judge on the same principles. We hold each person the same respect but when the ability to grant freedom, we ask they pay a price for it. The price might come in a certificate, a donation, a statement or even the choice to relinquish their own beliefs, their own thoughts and their own decision of what is placed value of Freedom. For if you give your life, give your family ability to give you that life, then so freely a person should take it away, for a decision made my men who have no understanding of what the civilized world means nor has the will to choice to accept and understand each and every one of our differences.
Who are we to decide how others should live or die? Who are we to say prayers for the death or dying who have so laid their lives in front of ours to protect us from evil that fortified our well being? Is it not this evil that we grew ourselves? Is this not our own demise and ALSO our own redemption that we should soundly take notice of and solely without questioning, but accepting and learning from our differences? I ask not to be protected, yet I ask for all to accept and protect their own beliefs, their own visions, their own practices yet with a better understanding who we truly are not in the face of man but who we truly are in the face of brotherhood.
In the United States of America, we are raised to believe that each and every one of us are of protected by our peers, our allies, our parents, our family, our guardians, our friends and most importantly, our government. As a child, you are taught what freedom is by examples of history, events and patterns dating back to the cavemen. You are taught that freedom may come at a price, but that price never has a value. To give ones freedom up is giving up their life. It is a chain of events that we, as in titled the World, have done to ourselves endlessly for a vary of reasons, primarily over religion or land.
When will we stop the cycle of this endless battle within our own selves and insure to each and every person on this planet that Freedom is not a decision someone in made up for it’s spirit of sounding good, but yet truly take the meaning to heart and make the difference. Not just a difference for one, but a difference collectively for all, for all to feel, for all to choose, for all to see and feel.
The endless life’s taken for the word of Freedom. The endless lies we hear about who is threatening our freedom. The endless cries that are unheard because we yet have not listened to our own past, learned from our fore fathers. We stand proud, but we are proud of nothing, and can not be proud with nothing until we learn what freedom is truly about.
PkS ~ 2004 ©
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Gilded
Gilded
Gilded once walked beside me. Wrapped in his ego, he lead me to believe in a world of solitude pleasantries. He bronzed my thoughts in fanatics of life, only to destroy them with a blink of light. He forecasted my world in ravens gone wild, he blessed my sins with heavenly clouds, marked his territory with ark shaped notions, draining out the gallons of emotions. For Gilded was a savor if you will, he will visit you in time, if you will, to take upon what he calms is his; give him what he wants and he will forever be pleased.
PkS © 2004
Gilded once walked beside me. Wrapped in his ego, he lead me to believe in a world of solitude pleasantries. He bronzed my thoughts in fanatics of life, only to destroy them with a blink of light. He forecasted my world in ravens gone wild, he blessed my sins with heavenly clouds, marked his territory with ark shaped notions, draining out the gallons of emotions. For Gilded was a savor if you will, he will visit you in time, if you will, to take upon what he calms is his; give him what he wants and he will forever be pleased.
PkS © 2004
I want to be kidnapped for a week.... Everybody has a Value, Everybody has a price, those that love you or employ you will PAY.... How much are you worth?
If you want to Rant, cramp, framp, bitch, moan, whale, hate, mate or what ever you might be into, just know that your not the only one in life who's got problems! We don't want to hear about your problems anymore! Oh and go ahead and choke on your food too! Or just take the advice of the rat attached!
If it wasn't for life's little corks, we would still be living in the swamp! Register now so you can get a jump start for the upcoming draft we all know is coming!
Silicone
Silicone
So many times I tired to hide behind a painted smile
Portrait of me, sitting still in a framed world for all to see
Brushed images of my world, stroked onto a canvas
Flowing sensation of life painted behind a painted smile
Just a framed piece of art
Hung in a gallery for all to admire
People come and go
Thanking the administrator for the show
You never tired to see behind my painted smile
If you see the stokes, I’d let you into the secret in me
But you only see what you will from me
Letting me continually freeze my image of a painted smile
Smiling while lying to the world
Smiling to convince the world
Smiling to bring ease back into my world
Smiling while lying, hiding, frighten
Repeated the action of my silicone state
So many things the public will take
So many times I’ve tried to make you understand
The painted smile is not all that is of me
So many times I tired to hide behind a painted smile
Silicone state of a portrait
Brushed onto a canvas for the next exhibit
Frozen in a time for the world to admire
Just a framed piece of art
Hung in a gallery for all to admire
People come and go
Thanking the administrator for the show
PkS © 2004
So many times I tired to hide behind a painted smile
Portrait of me, sitting still in a framed world for all to see
Brushed images of my world, stroked onto a canvas
Flowing sensation of life painted behind a painted smile
Just a framed piece of art
Hung in a gallery for all to admire
People come and go
Thanking the administrator for the show
You never tired to see behind my painted smile
If you see the stokes, I’d let you into the secret in me
But you only see what you will from me
Letting me continually freeze my image of a painted smile
Smiling while lying to the world
Smiling to convince the world
Smiling to bring ease back into my world
Smiling while lying, hiding, frighten
Repeated the action of my silicone state
So many things the public will take
So many times I’ve tried to make you understand
The painted smile is not all that is of me
So many times I tired to hide behind a painted smile
Silicone state of a portrait
Brushed onto a canvas for the next exhibit
Frozen in a time for the world to admire
Just a framed piece of art
Hung in a gallery for all to admire
People come and go
Thanking the administrator for the show
PkS © 2004
Sunday, March 28, 2004
The End is Near
The end is near… Darkness flows closer to my thoughts and memories. Destruction and dissolutions follow me… the end is drawing closer to my every thought. Beware of lucid dreams of time gone by, they are nothing but lies trying to pull you closer in to a dream that will never arise.
PkS 2004
PkS 2004
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Sleep? Whats sleep? Anyone got the answer? Me??? Sleep??? never sleep... Insomnia holds me tight, that and the bed bugs that continually bite!
IF you see one of the men in the Trench coats, that put up signs for lost animals... please tell them I'm waiting for my ride. They are late for their appointment, but who knows, Roland must be keeping them tired up. Anways, I will sit and wait, wait and sit, for the trench coated men to show up at my door.
Sleep well my young preys....
IF you see one of the men in the Trench coats, that put up signs for lost animals... please tell them I'm waiting for my ride. They are late for their appointment, but who knows, Roland must be keeping them tired up. Anways, I will sit and wait, wait and sit, for the trench coated men to show up at my door.
Sleep well my young preys....
Femme Violence
Femme Violence
Find me once lying on the bathroom floor
Find me twice kicked like the trash out the door
Find me a third time wondering down the street
Find me dead as I lay upon your feet
Thinking of me when you had me in your hands
Thinking of me as you beat me to shallow breath none the less
Thinking of me as you tortured my mind
Thinking of me as you slit my throat with a sharpened edge knife
Slap me senseless with marks to show the world
Slap me endlessness to show your power and growth
Slap me violently to the ground soaking in blood
Slap me repeatedly for no certain care, reason or whim
Beat me to deaths beckoned end
Beat me till my blood run thin
Beat me repeatedly till my last breath is gone
Beat me restlessly, continue with your fun
PkS © 2003
Note – These comments are the particular views of the writer, either from personal experience of her own or a way to release aggression, using a format of writing. The comments suggested above are not in anyway stating that violence is acceptable, in any standards. It is the view of the writer that the violence stated above should be read as fiction and should not be portrayed as an actual event(s). The writer holds no responsibilities, nor knowledge of events, if the above statement should coincide with personal experience(s) of the reader.
Find me once lying on the bathroom floor
Find me twice kicked like the trash out the door
Find me a third time wondering down the street
Find me dead as I lay upon your feet
Thinking of me when you had me in your hands
Thinking of me as you beat me to shallow breath none the less
Thinking of me as you tortured my mind
Thinking of me as you slit my throat with a sharpened edge knife
Slap me senseless with marks to show the world
Slap me endlessness to show your power and growth
Slap me violently to the ground soaking in blood
Slap me repeatedly for no certain care, reason or whim
Beat me to deaths beckoned end
Beat me till my blood run thin
Beat me repeatedly till my last breath is gone
Beat me restlessly, continue with your fun
PkS © 2003
Note – These comments are the particular views of the writer, either from personal experience of her own or a way to release aggression, using a format of writing. The comments suggested above are not in anyway stating that violence is acceptable, in any standards. It is the view of the writer that the violence stated above should be read as fiction and should not be portrayed as an actual event(s). The writer holds no responsibilities, nor knowledge of events, if the above statement should coincide with personal experience(s) of the reader.
Bored
~ Bored~
Bitch and moan all you want...... I'm so bored with what you got…
Bored with the rhythm of the afternoon
Bored with the oceans that are blue
Bored with the careless acts
Bored with the threats and attacks
Bored with the answers
More so bored with the questions that repeat the answers
Bored with the notation of things are fair
Bored with the thought that I just don’t care
Bored with the actions of careless ways
Bored with the freedom that people portray
Bored with the problems of the world
Bored with the standards we so adore
Bored with the careful ways we have to act
Bored with the faces that have turned black
Bored with the cries you only hear in the dark
Bored with the “coming of our savor” religion talk
Bored with how it once was
Bored with how it’s turning out
Bored again with the same old song and dance
Bored with roads that take you no where
Bored with the small mindedness that lurks everywhere
Bored with the intelligence that people show
Bored because they are so friggen slow
Bored with how proper you have to be
Bored with the stamp of being approval meat
Bored how we treat each other
Bored with the pathetic games we do onto others
Bored with how careless we have become
Bored even with the rhythm of the sun
Bitch and moan all you want…. I’m so fucking bored with what you’ve shown…
PkS © 2004
Bitch and moan all you want...... I'm so bored with what you got…
Bored with the rhythm of the afternoon
Bored with the oceans that are blue
Bored with the careless acts
Bored with the threats and attacks
Bored with the answers
More so bored with the questions that repeat the answers
Bored with the notation of things are fair
Bored with the thought that I just don’t care
Bored with the actions of careless ways
Bored with the freedom that people portray
Bored with the problems of the world
Bored with the standards we so adore
Bored with the careful ways we have to act
Bored with the faces that have turned black
Bored with the cries you only hear in the dark
Bored with the “coming of our savor” religion talk
Bored with how it once was
Bored with how it’s turning out
Bored again with the same old song and dance
Bored with roads that take you no where
Bored with the small mindedness that lurks everywhere
Bored with the intelligence that people show
Bored because they are so friggen slow
Bored with how proper you have to be
Bored with the stamp of being approval meat
Bored how we treat each other
Bored with the pathetic games we do onto others
Bored with how careless we have become
Bored even with the rhythm of the sun
Bitch and moan all you want…. I’m so fucking bored with what you’ve shown…
PkS © 2004
Friday, March 26, 2004
Flinch
~Flinch~
What, it’s been over a decade since we meet.... It still feels like it was yesterday..... we only knew what was going on between each other.... we only bruised each other but the pain still is floating around in each of us.... you made me run and hide.... you made me retreat to a hidden place in my head.... you bite, you slapped, you fought with your fists, you kicked, you always made sure that the marks were not seen except by you.... proud of your art work, you took so much pride in it..... Bragging to your buddies on what a great man you were.... how long can a girl be tortured by you..... How long can a girl be haunted by you..... How long does it take before all the pain goes away.....you thought by just dropping in every once in a while that all would be forgiven..... You thought that going away as I asked would only make me want you again.... but you were sadly mistaken..... you didn't see it coming...... you didn't see that I learned to shut myself off to you.....even when you still held me down, you could not get close enough to make a difference.....you thought that if you stopped my heart may return, but you were sadly mistaken once again.... you threaten and stalked, you even decided to make good on a promise..... but after all that you did, broke as I am, you still can not get what you want out of me.....the acceptance that you desire, the love that you require, the trust and emotions that you think you need..... you took what should have been memories and turned them all into hate, devastation, boredom, and confusion......I always wanted for you want you wanted for yourself.... but we both knew from the start that neither one of us should be in the place we ended up..... Now the final chapter is closed, but yet the pain still lingers around..... Afraid of stepping out, without looking behind me, not trusting anyone because of what actions my lay ahead..... yes, thank you for breaking me down, for all your wonderful work you have done.... you have left me broken, but you still lost the battle, you still lost the war, you never gained what you always wanted, you never could get into my heart.... and yes thank you for your marks you left, I added a few of my own, but they are there just for me to remember what path not to follow again.....And even though we I sat for months and vacillated, I just took it all in, let you continue and still you are the one you has lost everything.....
~PkS
2002 ©
I wrote this to cleanse myself of the torture I had allowed into my life. The sorrow, the demise, the hate and most of all the insanity of allowing myself to get to a point of becoming hollow inside. The one thing I have learned since I have written the above paragraph is that you have several different paths you can take in life. You can choice your own path, you make your own decisions, but when you continually have your past as your path, you can not direct yourself in the right direction. Time has proven to me that memories may fade but they do not die, the pain will follow you, no matter what you do to forget it. Horror is the factor, pain is the product and destruction of ones self is the ultimate pleasure to gain. You are nothing more than chest piece that is moved from moment to moment until you realize that you are not the one in control. Life allows you to choice, yes, but it also allows you to destroy much more in half the time.
Torture, where I live now, is allowing yourself to continue in ways you can not control. Continuing is destruction if the cycle can not be broken. Destruction is my disease, the ultimate demise of ones soul.
PkS © 2004
What, it’s been over a decade since we meet.... It still feels like it was yesterday..... we only knew what was going on between each other.... we only bruised each other but the pain still is floating around in each of us.... you made me run and hide.... you made me retreat to a hidden place in my head.... you bite, you slapped, you fought with your fists, you kicked, you always made sure that the marks were not seen except by you.... proud of your art work, you took so much pride in it..... Bragging to your buddies on what a great man you were.... how long can a girl be tortured by you..... How long can a girl be haunted by you..... How long does it take before all the pain goes away.....you thought by just dropping in every once in a while that all would be forgiven..... You thought that going away as I asked would only make me want you again.... but you were sadly mistaken..... you didn't see it coming...... you didn't see that I learned to shut myself off to you.....even when you still held me down, you could not get close enough to make a difference.....you thought that if you stopped my heart may return, but you were sadly mistaken once again.... you threaten and stalked, you even decided to make good on a promise..... but after all that you did, broke as I am, you still can not get what you want out of me.....the acceptance that you desire, the love that you require, the trust and emotions that you think you need..... you took what should have been memories and turned them all into hate, devastation, boredom, and confusion......I always wanted for you want you wanted for yourself.... but we both knew from the start that neither one of us should be in the place we ended up..... Now the final chapter is closed, but yet the pain still lingers around..... Afraid of stepping out, without looking behind me, not trusting anyone because of what actions my lay ahead..... yes, thank you for breaking me down, for all your wonderful work you have done.... you have left me broken, but you still lost the battle, you still lost the war, you never gained what you always wanted, you never could get into my heart.... and yes thank you for your marks you left, I added a few of my own, but they are there just for me to remember what path not to follow again.....And even though we I sat for months and vacillated, I just took it all in, let you continue and still you are the one you has lost everything.....
~PkS
2002 ©
I wrote this to cleanse myself of the torture I had allowed into my life. The sorrow, the demise, the hate and most of all the insanity of allowing myself to get to a point of becoming hollow inside. The one thing I have learned since I have written the above paragraph is that you have several different paths you can take in life. You can choice your own path, you make your own decisions, but when you continually have your past as your path, you can not direct yourself in the right direction. Time has proven to me that memories may fade but they do not die, the pain will follow you, no matter what you do to forget it. Horror is the factor, pain is the product and destruction of ones self is the ultimate pleasure to gain. You are nothing more than chest piece that is moved from moment to moment until you realize that you are not the one in control. Life allows you to choice, yes, but it also allows you to destroy much more in half the time.
Torture, where I live now, is allowing yourself to continue in ways you can not control. Continuing is destruction if the cycle can not be broken. Destruction is my disease, the ultimate demise of ones soul.
PkS © 2004
Constellation
Constellation
The earth, the wind, the moon and the stars
For each and everyone…who ever you are
This is my wind that I speak so softly
This is my breath that I give to you gently
For each drop of sand I lay before you
I reach more towards the moon in its glory
Following my heart to the depths of your sea
I sprinkle my warmth on countless evenings
I share my thoughts with you even as we speak
I open my arms for you to reach me
I wait for a signal of your love to bounce back
I follow your movement in the waiting shadows of its past
Each star is a representation of my love I cast
Shining down onto you in a weather beating forecast
Each droplet of water that runs down my face
Is caught in your sweet loving embrace
The moon and the stars have aligned in our favor
The earth and wind speak so freely of our nature
You have grasped my tears that flow like the river
You have taken me out of the shallow water
The earth, the wind, the moon and the stars
The have aligned to show us both who we are
They formed together to draw their strengths
They send us both a sign of our love and inter faiths
PkS © 2004
The earth, the wind, the moon and the stars
For each and everyone…who ever you are
This is my wind that I speak so softly
This is my breath that I give to you gently
For each drop of sand I lay before you
I reach more towards the moon in its glory
Following my heart to the depths of your sea
I sprinkle my warmth on countless evenings
I share my thoughts with you even as we speak
I open my arms for you to reach me
I wait for a signal of your love to bounce back
I follow your movement in the waiting shadows of its past
Each star is a representation of my love I cast
Shining down onto you in a weather beating forecast
Each droplet of water that runs down my face
Is caught in your sweet loving embrace
The moon and the stars have aligned in our favor
The earth and wind speak so freely of our nature
You have grasped my tears that flow like the river
You have taken me out of the shallow water
The earth, the wind, the moon and the stars
The have aligned to show us both who we are
They formed together to draw their strengths
They send us both a sign of our love and inter faiths
PkS © 2004
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Clipped Wings
Clipped Wings
Clip my wings so I can not fly
Clip my spirit so I can not try
Clip my sanity so I can not find
Clip my world so I can not die
Take me away from this god forsaken place
Take me away from theses evils that built up into pain
Take me away so I find who I truly am
Take me away so I find earths beauty in a shielded hand
Bound me from the evils I do upon myself
Bound me from the thoughts that take overwhelm me so well
Bound me from the screams that follow me into sleep
Bound me from the depths of my own mental well being
Let me fly with the wind with no care in the world
Let me fly with the air that is breezes in the clouds
Let me fly with the angles that watch over many of us
Let me fly with the breath that has bound both of us
Let me find my way back from where I am today
Let me find my own way to fight the evils that have risen from my pain
Let me find my own road, my own path as in life
Let me find the demons that haunt me every night
Clip my wings so I can learn to fly again
Clip my wings so I can teach my spirit to at least try again
Clip my wings so I can find the sanity I lost so long ago
Clip my wings so I can let my world begin again with a tolerance and no ego…
PkS © 2004
Clip my wings so I can not fly
Clip my spirit so I can not try
Clip my sanity so I can not find
Clip my world so I can not die
Take me away from this god forsaken place
Take me away from theses evils that built up into pain
Take me away so I find who I truly am
Take me away so I find earths beauty in a shielded hand
Bound me from the evils I do upon myself
Bound me from the thoughts that take overwhelm me so well
Bound me from the screams that follow me into sleep
Bound me from the depths of my own mental well being
Let me fly with the wind with no care in the world
Let me fly with the air that is breezes in the clouds
Let me fly with the angles that watch over many of us
Let me fly with the breath that has bound both of us
Let me find my way back from where I am today
Let me find my own way to fight the evils that have risen from my pain
Let me find my own road, my own path as in life
Let me find the demons that haunt me every night
Clip my wings so I can learn to fly again
Clip my wings so I can teach my spirit to at least try again
Clip my wings so I can find the sanity I lost so long ago
Clip my wings so I can let my world begin again with a tolerance and no ego…
PkS © 2004
30 Seconds
For anyone who might have missed what really happened... The truth has finally been expressed in 30 seconds!
Saturday, February 14, 2004
HAHA
When ever you see danger lurking around… Don’t run, just stop and ask it for directions.
When you feel like your going insane….Take a deep breath, close your eyes and think of Michael Jackson kissing you. (Now you will just be sick to your stomach, not going insane)
When a telemarketer calls you… Tell them that you are interested in listening to them, but you are presently busy taking a shit.
When you want to get someone back… Just call their local pizza place and order 25 large pizzas for delivery. (Make sure you *67 so they don’t have your phone number)
When ever you feel like you are going to puck… Look up, close your eyes and grab your tit and pinch. (Let me know how good it felt later)
When you feel like your going insane….Take a deep breath, close your eyes and think of Michael Jackson kissing you. (Now you will just be sick to your stomach, not going insane)
When a telemarketer calls you… Tell them that you are interested in listening to them, but you are presently busy taking a shit.
When you want to get someone back… Just call their local pizza place and order 25 large pizzas for delivery. (Make sure you *67 so they don’t have your phone number)
When ever you feel like you are going to puck… Look up, close your eyes and grab your tit and pinch. (Let me know how good it felt later)
In Memory of the Lost
In Memory of the Lost~
Lingered whispers from ancient lost city
Ruins still stand where the souls once lived
Footsteps long lost now substituted by a new creation
Standing over the memories of this forgotten time and place
Hearing the echoed chants of words mumbled in confusion
Feeling the breeze of their last wishes gracing past my face
A cool chill of remembering how once it was
Standing in this ancient, lost but not forgotten place
Looking down at this ancient path I stood upon
I find myself wondering how many others once stood on this hard but shallow ground
Finding myself deep in tranquility, purified of how I once had been here before
Finding a longing, an ease in breathing in the stale air
Looking all around, I find myself remembering how this ancient city use to blossom
People bustling, frantic, in a rush to place themselves in a tomb to be forgotten
Praying to the Gods of the day, taking in food that would later dissipate
Building with primitive tools, not knowing their future would soon be lost to the world
I stand, I watch and I listen to the whispers and echo’s that are so faint
I look around this desolated place
Once a vibrant, breathing city of such glory and fame
Now nothing but these desecrated ruins of a god forsaken place
For today is yesterday as tomorrow will also be forgotten
As we lay a path down before us, so we also will not be forgotten
But when we look back, we see only the ruins of our own defeat
Standing full circle, listening to the lingered whispers of our own ancient lost city
PkS ~ 2004 ©
Lingered whispers from ancient lost city
Ruins still stand where the souls once lived
Footsteps long lost now substituted by a new creation
Standing over the memories of this forgotten time and place
Hearing the echoed chants of words mumbled in confusion
Feeling the breeze of their last wishes gracing past my face
A cool chill of remembering how once it was
Standing in this ancient, lost but not forgotten place
Looking down at this ancient path I stood upon
I find myself wondering how many others once stood on this hard but shallow ground
Finding myself deep in tranquility, purified of how I once had been here before
Finding a longing, an ease in breathing in the stale air
Looking all around, I find myself remembering how this ancient city use to blossom
People bustling, frantic, in a rush to place themselves in a tomb to be forgotten
Praying to the Gods of the day, taking in food that would later dissipate
Building with primitive tools, not knowing their future would soon be lost to the world
I stand, I watch and I listen to the whispers and echo’s that are so faint
I look around this desolated place
Once a vibrant, breathing city of such glory and fame
Now nothing but these desecrated ruins of a god forsaken place
For today is yesterday as tomorrow will also be forgotten
As we lay a path down before us, so we also will not be forgotten
But when we look back, we see only the ruins of our own defeat
Standing full circle, listening to the lingered whispers of our own ancient lost city
PkS ~ 2004 ©
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)