Thinking of you…
I think of you every now or then. Remembering the times we shared and laughed without a care or whim. I remember the softness you so graciously instrumented; like a beautiful orchestra at midnight playing a song we both would remember.
I think of you still from time to time. I remember your solid words of encouragement; the feelings and thoughts that always made me crumb inside. I would lose my fear, lose my intentions of waiting; I would run wildly in thought for a passionate grasp of you’re reality.
I remember how you use to care for me, always asking the right questions; waiting for that once spoken word that brought you enjoyment with a mix of complexity. You seemed fearless of my answers, knowing some deepened understanding. You waited so gently for that last breath to be whispered, like a whisping willow gracing the shadows of a lost world sleeping.
You were my sounding board for life’s little corks. You kept me grounded and surrounded with feelings of love and positive thoughts. You were my best friend, my buddy, the one I could see. You were my soul, my thought, you were my everything.
I think of you every now or then, truthfully it’s more like each moment I’m awake from the deadness I live in. Even when I’m dreaming, I still think of you as it was real, not willing to wake from the dream that has become my surreal.
Sometimes you are in the corner of that dream, mouth shut and quiet. Other times you are with me, hand in hand, face to face, expressing how you truly feel, not holding onto our mistakes. I wake from the dream, not knowing if I’m able to grasp, wondering if it meant something or if it’s going to disappear into the past.
Though I think of you from time to time, I have moved into a clearer state of mind. I see the past as it once stood still, knowing now that your were never real. I think of what could have been, where the fork in the road made its bend. I wonder if I was ready and willing or could it be a path of conciseness that I’m finally quitting.
PkS 2002 ©
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
Eternity
Eternity
You are my one and only
And this I want you to know
You mean more to me than anything
I don’t ever want to let you go
Loving you gives me happiness
The kind I need each day
And if sometimes I don’t show it
I will continue to love you in each and every way
If sometimes I get jealous
It’s only because I care
The love I feel for you
Is ever so near
If I could have one wish
Do you know what it would be?
For us to be together
For all eternity
PkS ~1984 ©
You are my one and only
And this I want you to know
You mean more to me than anything
I don’t ever want to let you go
Loving you gives me happiness
The kind I need each day
And if sometimes I don’t show it
I will continue to love you in each and every way
If sometimes I get jealous
It’s only because I care
The love I feel for you
Is ever so near
If I could have one wish
Do you know what it would be?
For us to be together
For all eternity
PkS ~1984 ©
Lost Again
Lost Again
My heart is beating faster every time we meet
To meet my love, was a chance I could get
Gazing upon in your deep blown eyes
Looking up into the misty sky
You took my heart and kept it with care
After awhile you left it sitting there
Open to the world, so lost and free
But it was the pain that really hurt me
To think that you could leave without a good-bye
Leaving again in the midnight sky
Before you left “we can’t be friends”
I heard you say; now I’m lost again
PkS~ 1985 ©
My heart is beating faster every time we meet
To meet my love, was a chance I could get
Gazing upon in your deep blown eyes
Looking up into the misty sky
You took my heart and kept it with care
After awhile you left it sitting there
Open to the world, so lost and free
But it was the pain that really hurt me
To think that you could leave without a good-bye
Leaving again in the midnight sky
Before you left “we can’t be friends”
I heard you say; now I’m lost again
PkS~ 1985 ©
Love is a Gamble
Love is a Gamble
Love is a gamble
Kissing is the game
Boys do the screwing
Girls get the blame
One night of pleasure
Nice months of pain
Three days in the hospital
A little boy or girl to name
It all started when a boy
Gets a girl against the wall
Pulls down her reputation
Sticks in his education
Adds to a new population
Of a younger generation
The boys are the BASTARDS
The girls are the WHORES
The stupid little fucker wouldn’t be here
If the little rubber didn’t tore
PkS~1988 ©
Love is a gamble
Kissing is the game
Boys do the screwing
Girls get the blame
One night of pleasure
Nice months of pain
Three days in the hospital
A little boy or girl to name
It all started when a boy
Gets a girl against the wall
Pulls down her reputation
Sticks in his education
Adds to a new population
Of a younger generation
The boys are the BASTARDS
The girls are the WHORES
The stupid little fucker wouldn’t be here
If the little rubber didn’t tore
PkS~1988 ©
Saturday, November 30, 2002
She Knows
She knows:
She knows when you walk in at night
She knows when you leave at dawns light
She knows where everything is placed
She knows how each minute can’t be replaced
She knows from the taste of your breath
She knows from the restless feelings your repress
She knows when the clock is ready to strike midnight
She knows that’s when you’re about to take flight
She knows when the phone does not ring
She knows when it’s the simple little things
She knows how to turn the other cheek
She knows when you start to speak
She knows by the missing strokes to comb her hair
She knows by the way you clinch for air
She knows by the way you have stop caring for the house
She knows by the way you make phone calls in the dark
She has always known about your time away
She had always just turned the other way
She has you timed down to every last beat
She has you figured out and now she’s ready to compete
You always thought that you were one step ahead, you thought you took precautions to cover your tracks, you always thought that you would never be caught, you just didn’t see it coming, not this, not now…
Sooner or later she will always find out… It’s because she’s paid attention to the littlest details.
PkS~ 2001 ©
She knows when you walk in at night
She knows when you leave at dawns light
She knows where everything is placed
She knows how each minute can’t be replaced
She knows from the taste of your breath
She knows from the restless feelings your repress
She knows when the clock is ready to strike midnight
She knows that’s when you’re about to take flight
She knows when the phone does not ring
She knows when it’s the simple little things
She knows how to turn the other cheek
She knows when you start to speak
She knows by the missing strokes to comb her hair
She knows by the way you clinch for air
She knows by the way you have stop caring for the house
She knows by the way you make phone calls in the dark
She has always known about your time away
She had always just turned the other way
She has you timed down to every last beat
She has you figured out and now she’s ready to compete
You always thought that you were one step ahead, you thought you took precautions to cover your tracks, you always thought that you would never be caught, you just didn’t see it coming, not this, not now…
Sooner or later she will always find out… It’s because she’s paid attention to the littlest details.
PkS~ 2001 ©
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Valley of Self Demise
Valley of self demise
A selfless act, a wondering path, a child runs to her mother for protection once more, a woman begs her spouse to end the violence, a man rolls his sleeves to get one more hit in before he realizes what act he as commenced, an employee throws herself into her work to stop countless acts of wrath hands, a gentle hand brushes along the bowed back to caress the pain that has generated, a trapped state of coherences, forgotten places, trouble signs, screams running threw my mind… these are all the views of my self demise.
Waking in a cold sweat, shaking hands and a feverish head, twitching at the smallest beats, washing out the hate before touching a living thing, reviewing the bruises and scars before each daybreak, checking for blood spats against the wall, hand prints in the sand to wash way the memories, applying make-up to hide the marks, paranoia at every turn, closing myself off to resist anymore… these are all the views of my self demise.
Kicking and screaming in anger to stop, hearing the countless sessions of mouthing off, lay on the cement praying it will end, waiting for rescue as the fists belt down again, watching the booze be grossly consumed, covering my eyes for shattered pieces of glass as they fly by, letting the blood drip slowly off my face, counting the drops as they hit the ground in a rhythm pace, watching the evil pounce yet for another blow… these are the views of my self demise.
Watching the time pass each day, wondering when I will be able to walk away, looking at the past, recognizing the anger I hold within for the carelessness I allowed myself to guide in, slowly taking control of my life again, still hiding behind the chill of silences when alone at night, praying for the answer of how to return, deciding which direction to lead myself, following my screams in the dark, dreaming of a peace within my heart, knowing it will come eventually as I continue to wonder down the valley of my self demise.
A selfless act, a wondering path, a child runs to her mother for protection once more, a woman begs her spouse to end the violence, a man rolls his sleeves to get one more hit in before he realizes what act he as commenced, an employee throws herself into her work to stop countless acts of wrath hands, a gentle hand brushes along the bowed back to caress the pain that has generated, a trapped state of coherences, forgotten places, trouble signs, screams running threw my mind… these are all the views of my self demise.
Waking in a cold sweat, shaking hands and a feverish head, twitching at the smallest beats, washing out the hate before touching a living thing, reviewing the bruises and scars before each daybreak, checking for blood spats against the wall, hand prints in the sand to wash way the memories, applying make-up to hide the marks, paranoia at every turn, closing myself off to resist anymore… these are all the views of my self demise.
Kicking and screaming in anger to stop, hearing the countless sessions of mouthing off, lay on the cement praying it will end, waiting for rescue as the fists belt down again, watching the booze be grossly consumed, covering my eyes for shattered pieces of glass as they fly by, letting the blood drip slowly off my face, counting the drops as they hit the ground in a rhythm pace, watching the evil pounce yet for another blow… these are the views of my self demise.
Watching the time pass each day, wondering when I will be able to walk away, looking at the past, recognizing the anger I hold within for the carelessness I allowed myself to guide in, slowly taking control of my life again, still hiding behind the chill of silences when alone at night, praying for the answer of how to return, deciding which direction to lead myself, following my screams in the dark, dreaming of a peace within my heart, knowing it will come eventually as I continue to wonder down the valley of my self demise.
Sunday, November 17, 2002
Pissing on Corn Flakes
Pissing corn flakes:
Yep you’ve read it right, PISSING CORN FLAKES!!
Ever wonder why woman are so friggen touchy at times? Ever wonder why they get sooooo moody and just snap at you for no reason (well that you can’t think of)?
Simple, we want it our way or you can get sleeping bag and or the garage for the evening. Don’t push, don’t ask, don’t question a word that comes out of our mouths, just do it. Don’t think that you will win the conversation over and “get us to think your way” because honey it ain’t going to happen.
See, here’s the difference between men and women. Men just see it, do it and their done. Women on the other hand have to see, think about it, think more about it, test the waters, talk to our girlfriends, then talk to our family, then we will do it. Now here the tricky part. After we do it, we start to question ourselves on if that discussion was for the best and once again start going though the process of talking it over with ourselves, talking it over with our girlfriends and then talking it over with our family again. But we are not even done with it. We have to start making changes; putting that special touch on it that marks that we were there and so on and so on and so on. You get the picture.
But when we are done with it, ohhh, and we never are, we will just let it linger and ponder in our mind a thousand times over. And when we just think we are done, we start to go off in another direction of the outcomes because WE ARE WOMEN AND WE CAN DO THAT.
So men, let us be us and let us take all the time in the world that we need. No rushing is allowed. No point in it because all your ending up doing is adding a ton of pissing on that fire that you have no clue how to put out. But you sure as hell can make it bigger if you keep it up.
So, stop pissing on our corn flakes, stop thinking you “one day” will change our minds or think we will see it in your eyes, because it just isn’t going to happen!
Cheerios!
Yep you’ve read it right, PISSING CORN FLAKES!!
Ever wonder why woman are so friggen touchy at times? Ever wonder why they get sooooo moody and just snap at you for no reason (well that you can’t think of)?
Simple, we want it our way or you can get sleeping bag and or the garage for the evening. Don’t push, don’t ask, don’t question a word that comes out of our mouths, just do it. Don’t think that you will win the conversation over and “get us to think your way” because honey it ain’t going to happen.
See, here’s the difference between men and women. Men just see it, do it and their done. Women on the other hand have to see, think about it, think more about it, test the waters, talk to our girlfriends, then talk to our family, then we will do it. Now here the tricky part. After we do it, we start to question ourselves on if that discussion was for the best and once again start going though the process of talking it over with ourselves, talking it over with our girlfriends and then talking it over with our family again. But we are not even done with it. We have to start making changes; putting that special touch on it that marks that we were there and so on and so on and so on. You get the picture.
But when we are done with it, ohhh, and we never are, we will just let it linger and ponder in our mind a thousand times over. And when we just think we are done, we start to go off in another direction of the outcomes because WE ARE WOMEN AND WE CAN DO THAT.
So men, let us be us and let us take all the time in the world that we need. No rushing is allowed. No point in it because all your ending up doing is adding a ton of pissing on that fire that you have no clue how to put out. But you sure as hell can make it bigger if you keep it up.
So, stop pissing on our corn flakes, stop thinking you “one day” will change our minds or think we will see it in your eyes, because it just isn’t going to happen!
Cheerios!
Saturday, November 09, 2002
The Perfect Narcissus
The Perfect Narcissus:
Popular boy
You tend to forget who got you there
You tend to look back and yet see nothing but yourself
You tend to throw your name around for the amusement
But you’ve seem to lose your way easily when I’m not there to protect you
Childish boy
You seem to have lost who you are over the years
You seemed to have walked a thin line between hate and love
You seemed to be haunted by your steps to manhood
You seemed to want to walk over water but yet drown each time
But your blindness had wrapped your ego to protect it from yourself
Ego boy
You tell the tales of who you are and what you have become
You triumph on what vast solitude you are not prepared to shelter
You turn to your inter self for rest from your playful mind
You think you have grown into greatness and purity above all else
But you’ve punished yourself by closing your bruised ego off from others
Sentenced boy
You’ve locked yourself off from who you could have become
You’ve turn up the volume to shut off the voice in your head
You’ve ran from the blame you hold for yourself
You’ve worked yourself into a cruel understanding that the world owes you
But you don’t fare well with the life served sentence you have placed before yourself
PkS~ 2002
Popular boy
You tend to forget who got you there
You tend to look back and yet see nothing but yourself
You tend to throw your name around for the amusement
But you’ve seem to lose your way easily when I’m not there to protect you
Childish boy
You seem to have lost who you are over the years
You seemed to have walked a thin line between hate and love
You seemed to be haunted by your steps to manhood
You seemed to want to walk over water but yet drown each time
But your blindness had wrapped your ego to protect it from yourself
Ego boy
You tell the tales of who you are and what you have become
You triumph on what vast solitude you are not prepared to shelter
You turn to your inter self for rest from your playful mind
You think you have grown into greatness and purity above all else
But you’ve punished yourself by closing your bruised ego off from others
Sentenced boy
You’ve locked yourself off from who you could have become
You’ve turn up the volume to shut off the voice in your head
You’ve ran from the blame you hold for yourself
You’ve worked yourself into a cruel understanding that the world owes you
But you don’t fare well with the life served sentence you have placed before yourself
PkS~ 2002
Friday, November 08, 2002
Monotrumpism
Today’s word: Monotrumpism – A single idiot who is out spoken with a vast knowledge of nothing important yet will make a fool out of themselves in anyway for attention.
Know anyone like this? Oh I think we all do. What’s so sad about it is that they have no clue that the world thinks of them as idiots. These are the people of the world that strive for attention by being out spoken, loud, bashing and have no sense that there is a world that does not revolve around them.
So today, little miz Zotty was out and about trying to finish up on some stuff that I needed for the weekend. Yep that’s right, Zotty loves to go shopping! Anyway, so I am at a store and this husband and wife walk over to where I am standing and just start blah blah blah’ing it about some shit that they were looking at to buy. I did not say shit to them but all of a sudden the man decides that little miz Zotty needed some help with what I was holding and thought giving me his opinion was what I needed. I just let him talk then turned around and just said “You seem to know a lot about nothing.”
Oh was that rude? Like I friggen give a crap. I mean, the guy had no knowledge of what he was talking about. I could so see him that morning looking some shit up on the net and thinking at that point that he was “all knowing”. As he stood there in shock, the sales man walked over to me and asked if I might need some help. I turned to him and said “I know I don’t but you might help this couple out because he’s making a Monotrumpism out of himself”. The salesmen just looked at me and laughed.
I just had to laugh as I was checking out, when I saw that couple in the isle again and the wife was just laying the law down about what an ass he makes himself out to be all the time.
God it’s good to be a woman at times!
So the jest of this story is… Well I think you can figure it out, I’m not going to insult you today, but its’ still early, don’t temp me!
Thought for the day: “Lighting rarely strikes twice but when it does, make sure you have clean underwear on.”
Know anyone like this? Oh I think we all do. What’s so sad about it is that they have no clue that the world thinks of them as idiots. These are the people of the world that strive for attention by being out spoken, loud, bashing and have no sense that there is a world that does not revolve around them.
So today, little miz Zotty was out and about trying to finish up on some stuff that I needed for the weekend. Yep that’s right, Zotty loves to go shopping! Anyway, so I am at a store and this husband and wife walk over to where I am standing and just start blah blah blah’ing it about some shit that they were looking at to buy. I did not say shit to them but all of a sudden the man decides that little miz Zotty needed some help with what I was holding and thought giving me his opinion was what I needed. I just let him talk then turned around and just said “You seem to know a lot about nothing.”
Oh was that rude? Like I friggen give a crap. I mean, the guy had no knowledge of what he was talking about. I could so see him that morning looking some shit up on the net and thinking at that point that he was “all knowing”. As he stood there in shock, the sales man walked over to me and asked if I might need some help. I turned to him and said “I know I don’t but you might help this couple out because he’s making a Monotrumpism out of himself”. The salesmen just looked at me and laughed.
I just had to laugh as I was checking out, when I saw that couple in the isle again and the wife was just laying the law down about what an ass he makes himself out to be all the time.
God it’s good to be a woman at times!
So the jest of this story is… Well I think you can figure it out, I’m not going to insult you today, but its’ still early, don’t temp me!
Thought for the day: “Lighting rarely strikes twice but when it does, make sure you have clean underwear on.”
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
So what is up with all the airlines giving you a time to show up? Like your plane is going to leave when they said it was.... I think not....I mean come on, we all understand bad weather, we understand that sometimes things happen but do you really think we need to just say "oh ok, sure, it's ok that the flight is delayed, yea no problem". Oh come on people, get real. Today, little zotty was delayed 5 HOURS, yep, 5 FUCKING HOURS!!! Why? Ohhh heres the good stuff.
The frist flight was delayed because of "engine problems" after we boarded, but yet, no one was working on it, we could see the plane right in front of us after we got off of it. Later, one of the ladies working for the airline stated that the captain was not able to come in and that they could not get a replacement for sometime. WHAT A CROCK! My connector was also delayed because of "weather conditions" which I also found out that it was delayed all day from each of the airports it took off from. I travel weekly for my job, I'm not this "weekender traveler" or someone who just takes the yearly vacation, so don't try to play these stupid "point the finger" at something else problems with me.
I mean, what ever happened to customer service? Thats a joke in it's self. Do you think crowding 125 people in a small space like a waiting area and then telling them that the AC is out in that terminal and that thier flight is going to be delayed for a few hours is right? Hell no it's not.Then on top of it all, they had the balls to sit us on the plane, leave us there for 45 minutes on the plane still at the gate and say "oops, theres a engine problem, everyone will have to get off this flight". Oh yea right!
So, Mr. CEO when you don't understand why you are filing Bankruptcy and want the world to feel your pain, remember this... GET SOME CUSTOMER SERVICE, GET SOME ACTION AND GET YOUR SHIT ON TIME.... AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON THAT THERE REALLY IS A PROBLEM, DON'T LIE TO YOUR CUSTOMERS.
The frist flight was delayed because of "engine problems" after we boarded, but yet, no one was working on it, we could see the plane right in front of us after we got off of it. Later, one of the ladies working for the airline stated that the captain was not able to come in and that they could not get a replacement for sometime. WHAT A CROCK! My connector was also delayed because of "weather conditions" which I also found out that it was delayed all day from each of the airports it took off from. I travel weekly for my job, I'm not this "weekender traveler" or someone who just takes the yearly vacation, so don't try to play these stupid "point the finger" at something else problems with me.
I mean, what ever happened to customer service? Thats a joke in it's self. Do you think crowding 125 people in a small space like a waiting area and then telling them that the AC is out in that terminal and that thier flight is going to be delayed for a few hours is right? Hell no it's not.Then on top of it all, they had the balls to sit us on the plane, leave us there for 45 minutes on the plane still at the gate and say "oops, theres a engine problem, everyone will have to get off this flight". Oh yea right!
So, Mr. CEO when you don't understand why you are filing Bankruptcy and want the world to feel your pain, remember this... GET SOME CUSTOMER SERVICE, GET SOME ACTION AND GET YOUR SHIT ON TIME.... AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON THAT THERE REALLY IS A PROBLEM, DON'T LIE TO YOUR CUSTOMERS.
Monday, November 04, 2002
First Posting
Ahhh my first posting! Oh here we go!
Today’s word: Bastardism - Being a fucking dip shit in your own sick and whacked out reality, pissing one off so bad that they would be glad if someone took a GLAD trash bag and placed it over your head AND forgot to make breathing holes.
Oh did I know few of these asses, too many to count actually. Oh yea, Bastard as a noun would be just putting it nicely, and frankly, I’m really not that nice of a person so zotty decided to start her own vocabulary and this is the first word of entry.
Why would I start off my whole blogger with this? Easy… I’m a mood writer so I why not write from the heart?
See how I look at it, there at the guys who are out there who have chips on their shoulders, ones who lack something in life or the ones who just can’t get enough out of pissing on your corn flakes because they were never breast feed as a child and thing that every woman needs to pamper them. Oh fuck that, I’m not here to baby sit, I’m not here to wipe you ass or jump when you think it’s time to do that fucking diaper change; I’m here for me, me and only me!
So I stand proud when I call myself a true bitch. I don’t play games, I will tell you just like it is and if I see that you start whining or that chin starts that shaking because you got your feelings hurt or felt that I was playing too rough, don’t be crying your bastardism bull shit on my turf. I called that sport and it’s not your game, so flick off or whack off, either way you’re just a piss ant that is not going to rain on my parade.
Thought for the day: “Life is nothing more than a urinal. You piss in someone’s Cracker Jacks everyday”
Today’s word: Bastardism - Being a fucking dip shit in your own sick and whacked out reality, pissing one off so bad that they would be glad if someone took a GLAD trash bag and placed it over your head AND forgot to make breathing holes.
Oh did I know few of these asses, too many to count actually. Oh yea, Bastard as a noun would be just putting it nicely, and frankly, I’m really not that nice of a person so zotty decided to start her own vocabulary and this is the first word of entry.
Why would I start off my whole blogger with this? Easy… I’m a mood writer so I why not write from the heart?
See how I look at it, there at the guys who are out there who have chips on their shoulders, ones who lack something in life or the ones who just can’t get enough out of pissing on your corn flakes because they were never breast feed as a child and thing that every woman needs to pamper them. Oh fuck that, I’m not here to baby sit, I’m not here to wipe you ass or jump when you think it’s time to do that fucking diaper change; I’m here for me, me and only me!
So I stand proud when I call myself a true bitch. I don’t play games, I will tell you just like it is and if I see that you start whining or that chin starts that shaking because you got your feelings hurt or felt that I was playing too rough, don’t be crying your bastardism bull shit on my turf. I called that sport and it’s not your game, so flick off or whack off, either way you’re just a piss ant that is not going to rain on my parade.
Thought for the day: “Life is nothing more than a urinal. You piss in someone’s Cracker Jacks everyday”
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